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May 20th, 2012
06:56 pm - Writing Competition Annoyances
For my 31st birthday, my parents gave me a 12 month subscription to Writers Magazine. It’s good, because now each edition arrives in my letterbox only days after it’s released in the UK. It beats the normal three month delay, which would result in me buying the March edition in May from a newsagent in Canberra. And that’s if I can find a copy sold in a newsagent here.
Most importantly, receiving the latest edition of Writers Magazine on time means that I have the option of entering the short story competitions before the relevant closing date. Each month, Writers Magazine holds two short story competitions: one which is open to anyone; and another which is open to subscribers only. The competitions always have a theme, such as “Crime” or “Marriage” or “Dogs”. Or sometimes you get an opening or closing line which your story must include. (A recent closing line was “Out she walked, with a spring in her step”.)
When my parents took out my subscription, they also created an online account for me on the Writers Magazine website. When I logged in for the first time, I saw my folks had got a couple of my details incorrect (such as incorrect digits in my postcode and home phone number). I promptly changed those, and thought no more about it.
Back in March, I entered the open short story competition for that month. (The theme was “The Olympics”). I submitted my story online, through the website. The next day, when I checked my email, I found one from Writers Online; an acknowledgement that my entry had been submitted successfully. It also said that I would receive one of these emails every time I entered a competition.
This month, my plan was to enter the subscriber-only competition for May. The theme was “Food”. I actually started writing this story back in April. However, various life events took over (such as trips to Melbourne and Perth) and before I knew it, the deadline was less than two weeks away, and I’d only written 700 words. So I spent the next few days plugging away at my story, editing, re-writing, shaping and polishing it. I wrote during my lunchbreaks at work, and last weekend when I wasn’t doing chores. Tuesday night was the deadline. I went to trivia after work (we came equal second, but lost the tie-breaker, if anyone’s interested) and came home just after ten. I turned on my laptop, and gave my story one last read-through to check for spelling and grammatical errors. All looked good, so I logged onto the Writers Online website, uploaded my story, and hit “Next Step”.
The Next Step, incidentally, is to verify your details are correct. When the box appeared on the screen, I noticed something I’d missed the previous time. My mobile phone number (which my parents had typed in when creating my account) had an incorrect digit. Frowning, I changed it to the correct one, then pressed “Send”.
The screen changed to the background I got the previous time I’d submitted a story. But this time there was a box saying “Could not change your details at this time” or words to that effect. However, when I clicked on my account details, my mobile number was correct. I shrugged, turned off the computer and went to bed.
It was only today (Sunday) that I realised that I have not received the usual email from Writers Magazine confirming that my short story was submitted successfully.
I have a sinking feeling that I should have changed my mobile number in my account first, then gone back and uploaded (and submitted) my short story. The lack of email suggests that my story didn’t get through.
I suppose it’s all good practice. At least I’m writing. Still highly annoying though.
The short story competition for June is “Three Items: a glove, a passport, and a tuba.” Entrants have to incorporate all three items into their stories. I think I’ll give that one a miss. Unless I come up with a cracking idea before the deadline.
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May 6th, 2012
06:46 pm - Excuses For Not Blogging Regularly
My apologies, readers, for being so slack on the blogging front lately. I haven’t forgotten about you, really. It’s just that I seem to have been beset by other distractions. Which might as well be this Blog Topic. So without further ado, here’s a list of Things I Have Been Doing Lately Other Than Blogging.
1. Travelling
Craig and I went to Perth a couple of weekends ago, to attend Joanna and Martin’s wedding. It was a lovely afternoon and evening, with the ceremony at the Secret Garden in the Cottesloe Civic Centre and the Reception at Mosman Restaurant. As the person who introduced them, I scored several mentions in the speeches (not that I’m bragging or anything!). The wedding was really unique, as it incorporated several Jewish and Polish traditions. And as a bonus, the food was NOT served via the “Alternate Drop” (I never get my preferred dish!). Instead, everyone got the same entrée; we got to choose our main course (from a choice of two – waitstaff came around at the start of the evening to take our orders) and dessert was a buffet.
We were only in the west from Friday to Monday, so the list of other places we went is fairly short:
- The Royal Shalimar (otherwise known as “The Little Indian Restaurant”) with my parents for a tasty Indian dinner.
- Innaloo Shopping Centre (to get a new battery for my good watch, and to buy a card for Jo and Marty. Craig wanted to buy some WA silverside for lunch, which he claims is superior to ACT silverside)
- South Perth foreshore, near the Boat Shed. (We caught up with Elisabeth, Claire and Siobhan for coffees and milkshakes. The reason why we didn’t catch up IN the Boat Shed was because Siobhan brought her new dog Jasper to show us, and I brought Hugo.)
- Floreat Dog Beach (With my parents and Hugo. It was too cold for swimming, so we just went for a walk along the promenade, up to the Oceana Restaurant (or whatever it’s called these days.))
Craig and I also went to Melbourne over Easter. We caught up with my brother, and had a mad night out in St Kilda, which may or may not have involved several vodka lemonades, churros with dipping chocolate, and a rather dingy Mexican Café called “Taco Bill’s”.
During the day, we went shopping. I found a dress for Jo and Marty’s wedding (Karen Millen, aubergine coloured), and Craig bought a new winter coat from the QV Markets. (Insert spiel here about how Canberra simply doesn’t have the range that Melbourne does).
2. Attending Trivia Nights
A bunch of us did trivia at the Civic Labor Club a few weeks ago. If there are any Canberrans reading this, and looking for a decent venue for trivia, I’d recommend it. The trivia is held every Tuesday and starts at a reasonable time (6.30pm). This means it doesn’t run too late. The Labor Club’s food is tasty and inexpensive, and the trivia prizes are generous. We came third, and won a $15 voucher. There was some debate as to whether we’d spend it on a bottle of wine, or some cake. Eventually, we decided to spend it on a glass of port each. There were five of us, and the port cost $3 per glass, so it worked out really well. The bar staff obviously didn’t sell port too often, as the bottle was dusty. As we finished our drinks, the barman came over to tell us that he’d made a mistake; he’d only poured us 30mm glasses, but apparently the standard size for port is 60mm. So we all got refills!
Also did trivia last week at the Belconnen Soccer Club too. We came third there too, but unfortunately, BSC doesn’t have prizes for third place. I won a bottle of BSC sparkling wine in the Heads and Tails game however.
3. Reading
Over Easter, I read “Night Shift”; Stephen King’s impressive first short story collection. The other week I also read the novel ”Watch Your Mouth” by Daniel Handler. His other novel ”The Basic Eight” is a favourite of mine, so I was quite excited to read “Watch Your Mouth”.
Unfortunately, it didn’t measure up. Oh, it was witty, and quirky, and the first sentence was a cracker. (“There’s never been an opera about me, never in my entire life.”) The narrative structure was unique. The novel is split into two parts. The first – carrying on with the opera theme – is split into four acts. The second part is structured like a 12-step programme. But ultimately, I found the plot to be too whacky. Essentially, the story is about Joseph, a college student who stays with his girlfriend Cynthia’s family one summer. He soon suspects her family is sleeping with each other, and that Cynthia’s mother is secretly building a Jewish golem from clay in the basement. For me, the novel was too creepy, and didn’t sparkle the same way that “The Basic Eight” did. Despite being published after “The Basic Eight”, Handler actually wrote “Watch Your Mouth” first, and shows – sometimes the book felt like it was trying too hard.
4. Cooking
I made Lamb Korma for the first time last night. And on Thursday night, I made doughnut flavoured cupcakes for a work afternoon tea on Friday. They tasted pretty good.
No Sneaky Chef recipes lately though. I must get back into that.
5. Visiting The Hall Markets
This was today. Craig and I met up with Neha and Tommy, and checked out the stalls. These markets should be renamed “The Wombat Markets” as wombat motifs seemed to be everywhere. One stall sold stone garden benches. One had small stone wombats peeking out from between the legs. Another stall sold wines and liqueurs. Their label featured a wombat. Yet a third stall sold pickles and preserves. They had a giant banner hanging in their tent, showing a wombat guzzling a jar of something delicious. We didn’t see any live wombats though. Plenty of dogs though. It seemed like every dog-owner in Canberra had turned up at the markets with their pooch!
6. Raking
“The leaves are falling all around…” sang Led Zeppelin in their Lord of the Rings inspired ballad “Over The Hills And Far Away”. Our big tree out the front is shedding. Often, I’ll rake and bag all the leaves, only to step outside the next morning to see the lawn completely covered in leaves once more. It’s like I never touched it.
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April 14th, 2012
11:42 pm - Are you ready to go back to Titanic?
Tomorrow marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic. I’m sure that all over the world, people are celebrating (or perhaps that should be commiserating?) by taking memorial cruises (the MS Balmoral is tracing the doomed liner’s route), having Titanic Dinner experiences (where you can eat the same dishes that first class passengers ate on the final night), or simply re-watching “Titanic” on DVD (we love you, Leo and Kate!).
Being somewhat of a Titanic buff myself, I thought I’d post up some interesting trivia about the Titanic for this blog post.
- Whilst the Titanic had four funnels, only three of them actually worked. The fourth was a “dummy funnel” and was there for ventilation and to make the ship look majestic. Speaking of funnels, it is believed that John J Astor – the richest man on the ship – met his death when crushed by a falling funnel.
- The Titanic was never actually described as “unsinkable”. Rather, an article in the Shipbuilder magazine in 1911 stated that when all the watertight doors were sealed, the ship would be “practically unsinkable”.
(Unfortunately, what the article didn’t say was that if more than five of the watertight compartments were caved in by a massive iceberg, the ship would be very much sinkable.)
- The Titanic was carrying 2201 passengers at the time of the collision. However, it only had enough lifeboats for 1,178 people. And that’s assuming the lifeboats were filled to capacity. The laws at the time did not require the Titanic to have enough lifeboats for everyone. In any case, the White Star Line believed the Titanic was so well designed that (a) it would never sink; and (b) even if it did sink, it would sink so slowly that there’d be plenty of time for a rescue ship to come and pick up the passengers. It was decided that any more lifeboats would merely “clutter up the decks” and reduce passengers’ comfort. This obviously backfired, as many passengers were made to feel very uncomfortable freezing to death in the icy North Atlantic. After the tragedy, the legislation was changed to require ships to carry enough lifeboats for all passengers and crew.
- In 1898, Morgan Robertson wrote a novel called “Futility” which depicted a ship called the Titan that strikes an iceberg on her maiden voyage, resulting in the deaths of most of the people on board.
- Thirteen couples were honeymooning on the Titanic.
- The lookouts in the crow’s nest did not have binoculars.
- After the Titanic struck the iceberg, the order “hard a starboard” (ie “turn right”) was given. However, the wheel was turned to the left. This is because prior to the 1930s, commands were given to the ship’s tiller (a horizontal bar, connected to the rudder). Putting the tiller to starboard (right) would have meant turning the ship to port (left). The 1997 James Cameron movie actually got this correct (and many people thought it was a mistake).
- The last survivor of the Titanic died only three years ago. Millvina Dean passed away in 2009 at the age of 97.
- There were only two bathtubs for the entire third class (706 passengers). I hate to think what the queues were like! The Titanic did have flushing toilets, but very few cabins (even in first class) had private bathrooms.
- In Clive Cussler’s 1976 novel “Raise The Titanic!” the hero succeeds in, well, raising the Titanic, and taking it back to New York. Alas for literary accuracy, when the wreck of the Titanic was discovered in 1986, it was lying in two pieces, and much of the woodwork (including the Grand Staircase) had completely rotted away. It was held that due to the length of time it had spent underwater, raising the Titanic would cause it to collapse even further.
- Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater are entirely fictional characters (but you knew that, right?) However, there was a crew member on board named Joseph Dawson who perished in the sinking. His grave is in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and marked “J Dawson”. Since the release of the 1997 movie, fans have visited the grave leaving flowers, cinema tickets, and pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio.
- And finally, the most bizarre myth of them all: it was rumoured that the Titanic was carrying an Egyptian mummy in its cargo hold, and the mummy had placed a curse on the ship. However, the records of the Titanic’s cargo manifest never mention a mummy at all.
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March 25th, 2012
06:36 pm - Chocolate Thieves
My Department’s Social Club sells chocolates throughout the year. The chocolate bars – small Crunchies and Cherry Ripes and Time Outs and the like – come in boxes. They (the individual chocolates, not the entire box!) cost $1 each, and proceeds go towards the Departmental Christmas Party or to charities.
The Social Club is run by the graduates, who each have to take on a position. “Ellen”, the graduate in my section, is the Chocolates Co-ordinator. She is responsible for ordering new boxes when the old ones get sold out. There is supposed to be at least one box on each wing of every floor of our office building. The other grads who work on those floors have to keep an eye on the chocolate boxes, and let Ellen know when they need new ones.
The chocolate boxes are kept in the kitchenettes we have at work. They are clearly marked “Social Club Chocolates - $1 each” and there is an envelope into which you deposit your money when you buy a chocolate. So as you can see, it’s somewhat of an honour system.
A few weeks ago (Ellen told us), one of the graduates got a new box of chocolates and put it in her kitchenette early that morning. A couple of hours later, she went back to check if any had been sold yet. She was pleased to see that four chocolates were gone, and the envelope held $4 in it. That afternoon she checked again, and to her shock and disappointment, the envelope was empty. Someone had swiped all the change.
Another grad wasn’t as diligent in regularly checking the box of chocolates on his floor. However, he did notice one morning that the box was empty, and he took the envelope of money to Ellen. Now, each box contains 48 chocolates, which means the envelope should have held $48. However, when they counted the money, there was only $26.10. Either someone had again nicked the change or (and this seems the more likely possibility, given there was lots of small coins) people had just been chucking 10c or 5c into the envelope (or not paying anything at all) when they took a chocolate.
Seriously, why are people so dishonest? By stealing or short-changing the chocolate money envelope, they’re only ripping off charity and their own colleagues (by leaving less money for the Christmas Party). And whilst we don’t get huge performance bonuses, people who work for the department are hardly on minimum wage. It’s not like we’re childcare workers or waiters, doing it tough. Surely people can’t be so hard up as to not afford a dollar for a chocolate (and here’s a thought: if you are truly that hard up, don’t buy the chocolate!)
And we’re public servants! We of all people are supposed to embody integrity and honesty. But if staff here can’t even handle paying for a chocolate bar, what does that say about their ability to provide sound, impartial advice to Ministers and other senior staff? What does it say about their ability to develop policies that may be in the country’s best interests as a whole but not necessarily in that individual’s best interests?
Ellen and her fellow graduates have tried to solve the problem by putting signs up in the kitchenettes essentially saying “Do the right thing and pay for the chocolates! Cameras are watching you!” Unfortunately, some people took the signs too seriously, thinking the Department had installed hidden cameras in the kitchenettes (to spy on their own staff as they bought chocolates, made cups of tea, and microwaved their lunch, I guess) and those people complained to our union, who ordered the graduates to remove the signs. So for now, the grads are continuing to monitor the situations. Any more thefts, and the chocolate boxes might have to be kept on the graduates’ desks, rather than in the kitchenettes. I hope it doesn’t come to that. Come on co-workers, lift your game!
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March 19th, 2012
11:02 pm - Holiday Houses and Group Dynamics
Over the recent long weekend, Craig and I shared a holiday house in the Snowy Mountains with another six people. It was an interesting weekend. Relaxing and fun in parts; completely uncomfortable in others.
First, the good parts. The house and grounds were very nice. The cottage had four bedrooms, and a generous sized living room, complete with a piano (for those sing-songs on chilly winters’ nights, I suppose. There were also several animals who frequented the property; a peacock, a cat with one blue eye and one green eye, two rather daft border collies, guinea pigs, chickens, and pairs of goats, sheep, and miniature horses. (The guinea pigs and livestock were in pens, but the rest of the critters roamed free. In fact, the cat came into the house on the first night and refused to leave!)
The location was tranquil, and we did a couple of walks down by the river and in amongst the vineyards on the second day. The cottage was also conveniently located next to the winery, which also doubled as a microbrewery and restaurant. We tasted some really delicious wine and beer. Craig and I also had a lunch of beautifully cooked fish and chips.
The weather was fine and I even got sunburnt. At night, Craig and I, and Neha and Tommy built a bonfire in the field beyond the garden. Tommy made damper with a dash of fresh rosemary. We baked it in the coals, before passing it between the four of us, breaking off chunks.
The not-so-good part was, the group dynamics were awkward. Neha and K- (the other organiser who dropped out weeks before the trip) had also invited four other girls. Craig and I had met three of them before, but weren’t particularly close to. The fourth girl we didn’t know. But no matter. I figured that a long weekend of drinks and activities would be a perfect way to socialise and get to know each other better. Only sadly, it didn’t turn out that way. The four girls had formed a tight group, and the two couples (Craig and I, and Neha and Tommy) ended up forming another group. And the two groups never really came together. Conversations between the two were largely limited to brief, civil exchanges.
Could my group (the two couples) have tried harder to engage the other girls? Possibly. But to quote John Rambo: “They started it. They drew first blood.” My group perceived the other group’s behaviour to be rather exclusionary. Here are some examples:
- The day before the trip, one of the girls emailed all of us to announce that she and the other three girls had decided to have lunch at a restaurant in Jindabyne en route to the holiday house. There was no invitation extended to the rest of us, but we (the couples) figured we might as all meet there anyway. When Craig and I, and Neha and Tommy arrived, the other girls were sitting at a table for four. None of them suggested we move to a bigger table. So we (the couples) ended up sitting at another table for lunch.
- When we arrived at the holiday house, the “other group” monopolised the living room and TV for several hours, watching two movies in a row. There was no consultation on what everyone would like to watch. The two movies were foreign films too, which meant they weren’t your mainstream, run-of-the-mill films that the majority of people can enjoy.
- We’d previously agreed that everyone would just bring food for ourselves, rather than have cooking rosters, etc. Craig and I brought food for the two of us, and Neha and Tommy brought food for them. However, the other group had all collaborated beforehand, and shared the cooking for the four of them. They all made home-made gourmet pizzas for dinner and homemade pancakes for breakfast.
- On the second day, the other girls suddenly announced they were going off to climb Mt Kosciusko. Again, there was no invitation extended to the rest of us.
- When the girls arrived back late afternoon (incidentally having only made it to the first lookout on the mountain) the rest of us were just hanging outside. The girls immediately turned on music and cranked up the BBQ and eventually took over the outdoor setting we were sitting at, for their dinner. (It’s hard to stay put when someone else is setting the table you’re sitting at – but not actually laying a place for you!)
Overall, it didn’t feel like eight friends sharing a holiday house. It felt more like four very close friends, with other four hangers-on. (Although to be fair, two of the other girls were a bit more engaging than the other two). And the stupid thing is, I personally don’t think it takes that much effort to make other people feel welcome and included. A simple “We’re going to do XYZ, anyone want to join us?” or “Hey, do you guys mind if I watch a couple of DVDs?” have sufficed.
I guess at this point I could ask myself: “Heartstart, if you think it’s so easy to build bridges, why didn’t YOU try harder to engage the other girls? Even if the other people in your group weren’t game, why didn’t YOU make the effort?”
And there would have been a time, in my younger days, where I would have tried to smooth the dynamics. I would have gone out of my way to interact with the other group, to take an interest in them. But sadly, from past experience, I’ve learned that often when you try like that, you receive little back in return. I must be getting old and jaded, because these days, I question why it usually seems to be me who has to put in the effort. I figure that when someone’s making it clear they’d rather associate with other people, I’m going to just let them be.
Current Mood:  cynical
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February 26th, 2012
06:01 pm - Book Review - Mistaken
In 1839 Edgar Allen Poe wrote an unsettling short story called “William Wilson”. In this story, the titular narrator encounters a doppelgänger; that is, someone who appears to be his double. The narrator first meets him at boarding school. The other William Wilson shares his name, birthdate, and general appearance, which greatly annoys the narrator. As an adult, the narrator slips into debauchery; cheating at cards and seducing married women. On several occasions, his double shows up in time to warn his targets of the narrator’s intentions. Eventually, the narrator has enough, and stabs his double in the bathroom of a ballroom in Rome. Only then is it revealed that his double was really the narrator’s conscience, and that by killing him, the narrator has also killed his own soul.
The 2011 novel “Mistaken” by Neil Jordan has parallels with Poe’s short story. (In fact, it is even referred to once by the main characters). Like William Wilson, the protagonist of “Mistaken” discovers that he has a double. Growing up in working class Dublin, Kevin Thunder is thrown out of shops by shopkeepers who claim they caught him shoplifting when he was there “last time”. He is approached by girls he has never seen before, who behave as if they already know him. Eventually as a young adult, Kevin meets his double – upper class Gerry Spain. Gerry looks and sounds exactly the same as Kevin. Only their accents and hairstyles differ, reflecting the boys’ different backgrounds. Over the years the two men form a strange relationship as their lives take different trajectories. Despite his apparent privileges, Gerry’s insecurities prompt him to request the more confident Kevin to take over his identity on several occasions (such as breaking the ice with the beautiful girl who will become Gerry’s wife). Such episodes cause Kevin to wonder:
“…were we the same person, the light and shade of the same person? Was I a dream that he dreamt, a darker form of himself, from a subtly different background, was I the part of him he kept at bay, suppressed, that he needed but could never admit to? Or was he a dream that I dreamt, was he the dream of the life I wanted, had I conjured him out of the shards of my pathetic background, was his the life I should have had, but hadn’t got the courage to grasp?”
Despite his misgivings, Kevin agrees to assume Gerry’s identity when he requests it, partly out of curiosity regarding the “life he should have had” and partly out of a sense of obligation.
“She wasn’t mine, she was his; she was a part of his life I would never have. And there was a spinning unreality to that feeling, as if I were the guardian to a fairy tale that had both of them in it. They were the prince and princess if this story, I was its lowly curator and my only function was to ensure that their story would continue.”
Then, as a married man, father and successful author, Gerry asks Kevin to impersonate him in order to break off an affair with Gerry’s domineering and unstable lover (something that Gerry himself lacks the courage to do). Gerry’s lover lives in New York, and Kevin accordingly travels overseas to break it off. And what Kevin does in New York will precipitate a reversal in the fortunes of Kevin and Gerry respectively.
“Mistaken” is written by Neil Jordan who is also a successful screenwriter (he won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay with “The Crying Game”). Jordan’s writing is enjoyable to read, and the story is easy to visualise. The feel of a dog’s tongue on Kevin’s hand is described as “soft, furry fungus”. A group of mourners at a funeral standing under umbrellas are like “so many mushrooms come alive in a fairy forest.”
Jordan’s storytelling technique is also interesting. The novel is split into two narrative. The first narrative takes place in the present day and follows Kevin’s growing friendship with Emily, Gerry’s daughter. Interspersed with this is the second, and main, narrative, which traces Kevin’s life and his experiences being Gerry’s double. It quickly becomes apparent that both narratives are really a long letter that Kevin is writing to Emily.
Jordan is also adept at depicting a Dublin divided by the working class north side and the posh south side. Key scenes take place near notable Dublin landmarks or institutions, such as Trinity College, the Wellington Monument, and Bewleys Oriental Café. Jordan’s love for this city comes through strongly.
I would recommend this curious and compelling novel to anyone interested with the notion of having a doppelganger, or anyone with a love of Irish writing.
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February 5th, 2012
04:32 pm - Culinary Adventures: The Sneaky Chef
The other week I bought a $5 book called “The Sneaky Chef”. The subtitle is “How to cheat on your man (in the kitchen)”. The premise is basically that (a) men hate eating food which they know is healthy; and (b) women are still responsible for most of the meal preparation in households and hence are in a position to influence men’s health. And the best way to do this, argues author Missy Chase Lapine (yes, that is her real name), is to sneak healthy ingredients into their food.
Whilst I am not sure whether I support the gender politics of this book, it does have some interesting recipes. So I thought I’d give a couple of them ago. My progress is tracked below, with photos.
Recipe 1: Boosted Buffalo Wings.
Step One: Take a zucchini and half a small cauliflower head.
Step Two: Steam the cauliflower, then puree it with the chopped zucchini and a dash of lemon juice. The result should look like the picture below.
Step Three: Add half a cup of the puree to one cup of BBQ sauce, plus a dash of Tabasco sauce.
Step Four: Bake the chicken wings in an oven set at 215 degrees (Celsius) for about 30 minutes. Remove wings and brush with the sneaky yet healthy marinade.
Step Five: Bake wings for another 15 minutes. Serve with Blue Cheese dip.
Recipe 2: Barbell Burgers
Step One: Puree a cup of blueberries and three cups of baby spinach leaves with a dash of lemon juice. (Apparently to be a Sneaky Chef, one has to do a lot of pureeing!)
Step Two: Take a quarter cup of the puree and add it to 500 grams of lean beef mince, a quarter cup of tomato paste, a quarter cup of oat bran (another sneaky ingredient!), two teaspoons of Worcestershire sauce, and a pinch of salt. Mix it all together and shape into patties.
Step Three: Cook the patties for four to seven minutes on each side. (The recipe advised to grill them on a BBQ, but I just fried them).
Step Four: Serve on hamburger buns with optional extras (I used onion, tomato and lettuce).
And the result? Craig was a huge fan of the Boosted Buffalo Wings, but reckoned the Barbell Burgers made him feel slightly ill afterwards. (I felt fine). Perhaps it was the combination of the blueberries mixed in with the meat? Whatever the case, I intend to keep trying out the Sneaky Chef recipes.
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January 22nd, 2012
05:02 pm - "If only I could tuuuurrrrn back time"
Despite being a teenager of the 1990s, I was never actually much into 90s music at the time. Sure, I enjoyed several Top 40 songs (I have fond memories of hearing “How Do You Talk To An Angel” by The Heights on my Year Seven camp, and dancing to “I Want You” by Savage Garden at my Year 10 Social, and listening to “Pretty Fly For a White Guy” on my Leavers’ trip after I finished high school.)
But I never had the extensive CD collections other kids had. Instead, I’d prefer listening to bands from the 1960s on 1080 6IX – The Beatles, The Who, Manfred Mann, and that ilk. By the time I graduated high school I’d moved onto the early 1970s – Badfinger, America, Led Zeppelin.
During my uni days, I stumbled across 93.7 Heritage FM (now 107.3 Heritage FM) and fell in love with the punk and post-punk sound of the late 1970s (The Clash, The Buzzcocks, The Stranglers) and the New Wave sound of the early 1980s (Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Dexy’s Midnight Runners).
Now, in the early ‘teens (or whatever the second decade of the 21st century is going to be called) I am discovering (or rediscovering) 90s music.
I am unearthing bands that I missed the first time around. Anyone heard of (or remember) Catatonia – a Welsh indy band? I found them on YouTube when looking up old X-Files clips. They had a song called “Mulder and Scully” (which is why they came up during my search) which rocks (in a 1990s kind of way!) I listened “Road Rage” which was apparently their most famous song and was also impressed (not least by the lead singer’s cute Welsh accent!) How could I have missed this band the first time around? (Probable Answer, because I was listening to 1080 6IX). Unfortunately, it seems the rest of the world has forgotten about Catatonia. My local JB Hi Fi, Landspeed Records and Sanity do not carry any of their CDs.
I am also realising that songs from the 1990s which I found highly annoying the first time around strike me as being enjoyable and nostalgic today. At trivia the other month, they played an audio question, where we had to “name the band that had this hit”. From the speakers at the Belconnen Soccer Club came the following lyrics:
“I’m blue, da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die…”
Everyone chorused “Eiffel 65!” Despite finding it an irritating ditty back in 1999, I scribbled down the answer with a sentimental grin on my face (the rest of my table were still humming the chorus).
There are limits though. I don’t think I’ll ever be thrilled to hear “There ain’t no party like an S Club Party!” or “Boom, boom, boom boom! I want you in my room!” or “So I walked under a bus, got hit by a train”, etc.
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January 8th, 2012
04:38 pm - Book Review - 11-22-63
Fiction involving time travel and/or changing the past can be a mixed bag. Until recently, attempts by fictional characters to alter past events (and thus, affect the future) usually ended with that character failing to do so, for the excellent reason that we (ie the reader or the viewer) know that the past was not changed, otherwise we wouldn’t be living in the world we are now. Stories in which the past WAS changed usually results in regret, and often an effort by other characters to “undo” the actions which caused the past to be changed. (“The Company of the Dead” which I reviewed a few years ago on this blog, falls into this category. It involves a man who travels back in time to 1912 and succeeds in preventing the Titanic from crashing into the iceberg… only for the ship to hit another, larger, iceberg an hour later, causing an even greater loss of life).
However, since the 2009 movie “Inglourious Basterds” ended with Hitler and his minions being blown away in a theatre in 1944, thus ending World War II early, all bets are off. And so it was that I eagerly read Stephen King’s new novel “11-22-63” with the question in mind: “Will the time-travelling hero of this novel successfully prevent President John F Kennedy from being assassinated?” Without wanting to spoil the ending, King gives the reader an answer to that question which is both unexpected and satisfying.
In 2011, Jake Epping is a 35 year old divorced high school English teacher. One day, he gets a call from an acquaintance, Al Templeman, who runs a local diner. Al has discovered a portal in the back of his kitchen which leads to 1958. Al discovers that no matter how long he stays in the past, he always returns through the portal two minutes after he left in the present day. And every trip back into the past is a “reset”. That is, the portal always leads to the same moment in 1958.
Al was intending to live in the past for five years until 1963, where he planned to prevent the assassination of JFK and thus change the course of American history. Only problem is, in 1962 Al was diagnosed with terminal cancer, thus compelling him to return through the portal to 2011 and find someone else to carry out the task. Enter Jake.
This premise sounds hokey (I mean, a random time portal in the back of a diner?) but King manages to make it credible. The descriptions of Jake’s first trip back in time are vivid and apt (eg the sound of a mill, the taste of a root beer, the hairstyle of a young greaser). After a couple of preliminary trips to the past, Jake is ready to make the big one – the one that will see him preventing Kennedy’s death before the president is shot in Dallas on November 22nd 1963 (hence the title of this novel).
Back in the past, Jake establishes a false identity as “George Amberson”, moves to Dallas, and finds work as an English teacher whilst he waits for 1963 to roll around. And he falls in love with a young librarian named Sadie. During this time, it becomes apparent that the only way Jake can prevent Kennedy’s assassination is to kill Lee Harvey Oswald himself. But the past proves more obdurate than Jake anticipated. And is he willing to sacrifice his relationship with Sadie?
Overall, this is a compelling story. However, King takes his sweet time in getting to the action. A large chunk of the first part of “11-22-63” is devoted to Jake’s second trip in the past, where he tries to prevent the murder of a local family. And whilst King does a fine job of reimagining Lee Harvey Oswald’s life in the early 1960s, too much of the narrative is bogged down in describing how Jake spies on Oswald and his family (the explanation for the spying is that Jake wants to be as sure as possible that Oswald will be Kennedy’s assassin). The action doesn’t truly ramp up until the final few chapters of the novel, where Jake is racing the clock to save JFK’s life. This book could have benefitted with some light pruning. It’s a doorstopper of a tome that runs to over 700 pages.
That said, this novel is still an interesting read. King takes a nostalgic view of the late 1950s and early 1960s, whilst taking care not to idealise it. The morals of the time are aptly reflected. In one scene at a service station, “coloured people” are not allowed to use the proper toilets reserved for white people. And when courting Sadie, Jake takes care never to stay the night at her house, lest she get a bad reputation from the townsfolk. The relationship between Jake and Sadie is also sweetly and poignantly realised, particularly when Jake realises he may have to choose between changing the past, and losing her.
11-22-63 establishes Stephen King not only as a great horror writer, but also a great science fiction and drama writer. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in time-travel and alternate history yarns.
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January 4th, 2012
04:15 pm - 2011/12 Summer Vacation Wrap
In keeping with tradition, this entry covers some notable places that I visited during my summer vacation. I spent a week or so in Perth, then flew to Melbourne to celebrate New Year’s Eve with my brother who is living there. Craig drove down and met me there too.
Perth
Floreat Forum: Ok, this isn’t particularly interesting in itself. I only went there with my mum to do some last minute Christmas shopping. But in the newsagents, I was delighted to see a copy of the UK magazine “Writing”. The local newsagent in Civic stocked this magazine up until about three months ago, and I haven’t been able to find any other newsagent in Canberra that sells it. And here it was at the good old Forum in Perth! I snapped up the last available copy.
The Stanley: Caught up with some girlfriends from uni here. It’s a trendy bar, but we managed to score some sofas in an out-of-the-way room. The burger bar “Flipside” is right next door, and the Stanley kindly allows its patrons to buy burgers from there, and bring them back inside the Stanley. Guess it’s a win-win for both businesses.
The Wembley: My local. Still the same as ever, as all good locals should be. It hasn’t yet turned into a daycare centre, like the Flozza. I came here for a couple of Fat Yaks with E-.
Leighton Beach: First time I’d been for a swim at the beach for about three years. It’s a dog beach, so my dad and I took Hugo. The conditions were perfect for a swim. Not too rough, cold, or crowded.
The Driving Range at the Wembley Golf Course: Do you know that it’s all automated now? Back in the Dark Ages (ie pre-2011) you had to buy a bucket of balls, and set them up on the tee one by one? Now you just pay for a certain amount of balls, and they pop up out of the ground. I went with E- and her beau P-, and it was fun. The range looked very picturesque, with the yellow golf balls dotting it like a field of daisies.
The Synergy Playground and Zamia Café at King’s Park: I went here with my friend K- and her two small children (hence the playground part). It’s pretty cool. They have big sculptures of a dinosaur and a crocodile. The Zamia Café does generous serves of croissants, as well as a variety of fruit juice combinations.
Greater Union Innaloo: Went here to see “The Adventures of Tintin: the Secret of the Unicorn”. This movie has been panned by several critics, but I thought it was actually a really fun, enjoyable movie. Sure, it mashed two Tintin stories together (“The Secret of the Unicorn” and “The Crab With The Golden Claws”) which was one of the chief contentions. But I think that was necessary in order to (a) introduce the character of Captain Haddock; and (b) enable the viewer to see Tintin’s home city, as well as several exotic locations.
People’s houses: Specifically, my aunt’s place for Christmas lunch, and M- and J-’s unit for dinner one night.
Melbourne
Chapel St in St Kilda: Craig and I met my brother here for dinner on the first night. It’s a long strip – seedy in parts, but some decent bars, restaurants, and boutique shops in others. We found a seafood café and ate fish and chips in light crisp batter, washed down with Asahi beers. Craig and I bemoaned the fact that there are no streets like this in Canberra.
Metropol: This was a pub in St Kilda, just down the road from where Craig and I were staying. We had a couple of beers here before going to my brother’s place on New Year’s Eve. The place had a nice beer garden and we also split a tasty wood-fired pizza. We bemoaned the fact that there are no pubs like this in Canberra.
Yarra Foreshore: After snacks and home-made sangria at my brother’s place, we caught the train to Flinders St Station. We joined the hordes of people trooping across the bridge, while loudspeaker announcements constantly told people to keep moving. The thought flashed through my mind that this is what it would be like if a city had to evacuate on foot due to a zombie outbreak or something. Happily for us, we were not leaving due to a zombie outbreak, but rather to watch the New Year’s Eve fireworks over the Yarra. Both sides of the river were packed with picnickers and revellers (I later read that about 600,000 people turned up). Craig and I stayed for the 9.30pm fireworks which were pretty good. We bemoaned the fact that there are no NYE fireworks like this in… yes, you get the point. After that, we piked, and went back to our hotel to watch the midnight fireworks on our TV.
Melbourne Museum: All was quiet on New Year’s Day, and it was hot. So what better place to pass the time than the museum? We saw the Forest Walk, the dinosaur bones, the sea specimens, the Mind and Body exhibit (which had some interesting old items from the old mental asylum), and the Melbourne-in-olden-times exhibit.
Phamish: On our last night in Melbourne, Craig and I had dinner at this bar and restaurant along the St Kilda Esplanade. The food was great (I had blue swimmer crab linguine) and we splashed out and shared a $50 bottle of wine (which Craig today found on the internet for $16!) That said, it was very nice.
Now we’re back in Canberra, and I’m off to work tomorrow. Another summer vacation bites the dust.
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